| A Great Way to Save on Weddings that You're Bound to Hate Posted: 14 Dec 2011 12:45 PM PST Here's a piece from US News that gives five ways to be a bridesmaid without going broke. The first one is an idea that I LOVE but that most people (especially women) will hate. It is: Just say no. It may sound harsh, but sometimes it's the best solution. Ask yourself if you'll still be friends with this person in 10 years. If the answer is no, consider responding with a polite decline. Ha! How many times has this happened? Probably none.
But think about it. How many people do you still keep in contact with from high school? 2? 3? How many from college? 2? 3?
In other words, friends change over time. So the "10-year rule" is actually a good one. If you really can't afford to be a bridesmaid and/or would rather skip it anyway, why not simply decline? Odds are you probably won't be friends in 10 years anyway.
And, if you say no you'll likely speed along the breakup of your friendship. ;-)
Seriously, I'm sure it's relatively rare that people decline such an "honor", but doing so is something more people should at least consider. Many don't have a few hundred dollars to spend on a wedding (or several thousand dollars to spend on several weddings) but feel trapped that they have to accept a bridesmaid offer. But you don't HAVE to -- you can just say no!
Anyone ever done this (decline being in a wedding due to cost)? How did it work out for you? 
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| Reader Profile: MS Posted: 14 Dec 2011 07:45 AM PST The following is the latest post in my "Reader Profiles" series. Each post in this series details the financial situation and challenges of an FMF reader. The purpose of this series is to help us all identify with people like us (in similar situations -- not all will be, of course, but eventually I'm sure you will find someone like you here), get to know the frequent commenters on the site, and hear some financial wisdom/challenges from people other than me.
If you're interested in contributing to this series, then drop me an email. The series seems to be very popular with readers and I need a steady stream of new ones to keep it going.
Next in the series is FMF reader MS. He answered my questions (in red below) as follows:
Please tell us a bit about yourself.
I'm a 36-year old married male. My wife is 33 years old. We have a daughter, age 4, and a son due in a matter of days (He's probably arrived by the time this is published, as my wife is scheduled for a c-section on 11/21). We live in the high-cost of living Northeast and recently bought our permanent home after living in a condo for about 5 1/2 years. I graduated from a public university with a bachelors degree and I double-majored Actuarial Science and Risk Management. I graduated with no student loans (although I did have some credit card debt unrelated to school). I was fortunate when it came to paying for school. Both of my parents had employers that offered merit scholarships to children of employees. I was a pretty good high school student and managed to receive a scholarship from each company. With the 2 scholarships, I was able to cover the roughly $5K a year tuition plus was provided money for books. I did not have any room and board expenses as I lived at home and commuted to school. My wife went to a private school away from home and left school with roughly $20K of student loans.
When I graduated, I accepted a position with a property-casualty insurance company in their actuarial training program. I spent the next 3 years working and studying for the actuarial exams. It was at that time that I realized that I no longer wanted to take the exams, but did still enjoy the insurance world. I spent a couple years (all while working) trying to figure out what I wanted to do and eventually decided to become an insurance agent. I then spent 4 years trying that before I realized I wasn't that good at sales and the economy tanked. I then moved to my current company through the use of my network and couldn't be happier. I have been with the company for about 3 years and feel that I'm in a very stable position. I recently changed positions and now work in the finance side of the company.
Describe your financial situation (who works in your family, how your income is (general), how your expenses are, etc.).
My income ($91K salary, plus annual bonus of $14 or $15K) is the only income for our household as my wife is a SAHM.
My gross pay per month is $7,583 which is broken down as follows: - Federal Taxes - $108
- State Taxes - $270
- Social Security - $300
- Medicare - $104
- Company benefits (Health, Disability, Dental and Flexible Spending Account) - $450
- 401K (6% of gross) - $455
- Roth 401K (3% of gross) - $227
- Allowances for wife and I - $240 This is money deposited directly into our individual accounts and can be spent however the person wants.
- Remaining Take Home - $5,428
My monthly budget for my take home pay ($5,428) is broken down as follows: - Car Payment - $329 (Interest rate is 6%)
- Student Loan Payment - $138 (Interest rate is 3.125%)
- Mortgage (Includes property taxes, insurance, PMI, and principle and interest) - $2,521 (Mortgage is 30-year fixed at 4.75%)
- P&I portion - $1702.40
- PMI portion - $240.64
- Insurance - $90.33
- Property Taxes - $2,033.37
- Utilities (Electric and Oil) - $400 I'm not sure yet whether this is high or low as we've only been in the house for 6 months
- Insurance (Life, disability and auto insurance) - $335
- Cable/Telephone/Internet - $139 All packaged together and locked in for a year.
- Cell Phones - $57 for both my wife and I
- Food - $420
- Gas - $290
- Dry Cleaning - $90 I wear a suit every day and don't like to iron my shirts
- Miscellaneous - $150 This is for any spending that doesn't have a specific category
- Gifts - $150 We use this for any birthday or holiday presents bought throughout the year
- Entertainment - $50
- Savings - $335 broken down in the following way:
- Property taxes on cars - $35
- Vanguard - $45
- Emergency Fund - $50
- Car - $150
- Daughter - $25 Going forward we'll be needing to buy clothes as we're running out of hand-me downs
- House - $50
Our savings are broken down as follows: ING - $4,386 - Emergency Fund - $1,080
- Auto Insurance - $526
- Property Taxes - $200
- Upcoming Expenses - $1,914 (mainly for the c-section bill that will be coming)
- Present Club - $666
- Car - $0
- Utilities - $0 (whatever isn't spent of the $400 each month goes here, just drained this recently to fill up the oil tank)
- Entertainment - $0
Vanguard - $300 currently invested in the Vanguard FTSE All World Ex US ETF (VEU). My plan is to build this up to $1,000 then begin buying the Vanguard Total Stock Market ETF (VTI).
401K and Roth 401K - $12,000 (40% S&P 500 Index, 12% MidCap, 13% SmallCap, 25% International, 10% Stable Value)
Pension - $10,000
The company matches 4.5% on the 401K and provides a 4% of salary defined contribution to the pension.
Liabilities are the following: - Mortgage - $324,000
- Student Loans - $11,800
- Car Loan - $8,800
What are the current financial issues you're facing (saving, paying off debt, etc.)?
Since I did not become enlightened about managing my finances until recently (within the last 3 years, thanks FMF!!!!), we're not in as strong a position as I would like. The most immediate issue is to replace my wife's car. She drives a smaller 4-door and with the newest edition coming, the car is likely to be too small. That car is the one with the loan on it. It is worth more than the loan currently, so we will likely sell it and buy something slightly larger. Given our current savings, this car will be financed, but my hope is that it's the last car I ever finance. My general goals are to have a fully funded (6 months of expenses) dedicated emergency fund within the next 5 years. Have all debts paid of within 15 years. I have no set date for retirement at this point. I plan on increasing my retirement contributions 1% every year.
We do plan on saving money for college for our children. Our current plan is for my wife to start working again once both kids are school age (roughly 6 years from now). Our plan for her income is 25% for retirement, 50% college savings and 25% taxes. I've made some rough calculations which show us having about $250K available for my daughter for school. Once she finishes school, my son would be starting and we'd be able to provide the same level of support for him through normal cash flow (debt payments would be gone and could be used for college).
What are your plans for the future. (retire early, build your career, etc.)?
I would like to continue to build my career some, though I do not think I want to climb too high up the corporate ladder. I am seen the time dedication needed for positions a couple notches up on the ladder and I am not willing to sacrifice my personal time. I am relatively happy about my salary progression over time. I have averaged about a 5% annual increase since I entered the professional world 13 years ago. I don't mind going to work every day, so early retirement isn't a concern right now. Beyond that, I think it is just to enjoy life. My wife helps to keep me in check to make sure I don't over-save. She helps me to enjoy the fruits of our labor. As such we're planning a nice trip in a couple years to celebrate our 10-year wedding anniversary.
What's your best piece(s) of financial advice and/or your general philosophy on personal finances?
If you don't keep track of your finances, no one else will. You also need to keep score. That can be done by setting goals or targets or some other measure like net worth. When I began getting serious about my finances, I had a net worth of -$19K, today it's about $35K. Not where I want it to be, but I'm working on it. You need to figure out where you want your money to go (i.e. goals), otherwise you will spend it all and wonder where it all went. 
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| Working for a Non-Profit Not All It's Cracked Up to Be Posted: 14 Dec 2011 01:29 AM PST The Wall Street Journal says that working for a nonprofit organization isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Their thoughts: Lured by the opportunity to serve a social purpose—and to improve their work-life balance—corporate workers are increasingly seeking jobs with nonprofits.
The desire to do good or work more family-friendly and flexible hours may be driving the switch for many. Still others may be broadening their job search to increase their chances of finding employment in a difficult market.
But nonprofit managers and experts caution that perceptions don't always match reality, and business-world veterans frequently undergo a bumpy transition. They go on to cite the specific problems people making the business-to-nonprofit switch encounter as follows: - Salaries are often lower (roughly 1/3 of the private sector on average).
- The work is harder (fewer people doing more work).
- Decision-making is often haphazard.
I've worked on boards and committees of nonprofits for some time now and here's what I have to add to the conversation: - Yes, the salaries are often lower.
- Yes, the work is demanding. I don't know if it's any worse than anyplace else though. However there are a lot of post-work requirements like fundraising dinners and the like.
- Decision-making is a nightmare. You have the nonprofit, the board, key donors, and on and on. You can be mired in bureaucracy.
- The people at nonprofits often aren't as sharp as their business counterparts. I hate to say it, but it's true. they aren't as smart, aren't as driven, aren't as experienced, and on and on. This is on average, of course. I have met some very bright and talented people at nonprofits.
- Everyone is in fundraising. Don't think that because you're in IT for a nonprofit that you aren't in fundraising for the organization. EVERYONE is in fundraising either directly or indirectly. Think I'm kidding? See what happens when you accidently offend a big donor at a special event...
These things said, there are great benefits to working at a nonprofit including: - Doing something you believe in. Many people in "regular" jobs don't believe in/like what they are doing for a living.
- Slower pace (most of the time.) This can be a joy for some even though it's frustrating for others.
- Great people. Some of the nicest people you'll ever meet work for nonprofits.
I've always thought that I might work part-time at a nonprofit in "retirement", but I'm not sure I'd do it for pay. As a volunteer you have a lot more freedom than an employee (sure, you don't get paid for it then, but you also have "walk away power" if things get too strange.) :-)
Anyone else have experience working with (or for) nonprofits? Do you agree or disagree with my thoughts above? 
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